I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
