hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
