508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
