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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
