no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
