We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
