You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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