When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
