Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
