Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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