actually, I'm a sock model
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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