Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
