I am puke
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you traded sex for a burrito?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
