Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
