I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
