are you so shy because you have an std?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
