Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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