I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
