Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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