Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
