On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
