what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
