and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
