There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
