There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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