Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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