I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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