so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
