it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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