Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you never un-have a 4some
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
