He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
