His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
