SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't turn off my feet"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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