Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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