you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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