bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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