What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
