This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
