she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
