So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
this is an emotional support booty call
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
