You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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