i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
