After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
