I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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