I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
