That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
