I just made out with a guy for $7.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
