just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
