Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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