i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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