I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
