Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
